Stop Me Read online

  He knew it wasn’t a healthy train of thought but he just couldn’t shake the notion that all the family-man business and brotherly concern was an act, with Matty performing in a way he only thought was expected. There was an emptiness in Matty and Leo sometimes wondered if only he saw it. Amongst the tight curls and awkwardness, a huge chunk of something was missing and it seemed, from a very young age, Matty could only fill it by taking from his brother.

  * * *

  Ever heard of a Doctor Mutatkar?

  Should I have?

  He called me last night. Said he knew where Laura was. Was meant to meet me today but didn’t show up.

  I have a lot of devotees in the UK.

  But you’ve never heard of him.

  I didnt say that.

  How much do you know of him then?

  If he claims to know where Laura is then the question is how much does he know of me.

  Leo was exhausted and in no mood to disguise his impatience.

  Are you being deliberately cryptic or do you really not know him?

  Again, Bookwalter’s answer immediately but sluggishly started to configure itself on the screen.

  Even locked away, ask him if he truly feels secure.

  Bookwalter could certainly think on his feet. It was the sort of abstruse statement that a good spiritualist would use. Like the ones that had been working for Maggie Allan-Carlin.

  How can I ask him anything? I told you – he didn’t show up.

  My mistake. Ask him the next chance you get.

  Leo tried to remember if he’d just got back from a shift or was due to start one. Whatever side of the sleep partition he was he had less patience for Bookwalter’s arch responses.

  Is Laura with you?

  Nearby.

  Meant to ask. Has she made you any of her famous prawn toast yet?

  Not a fan of oriental cuisine.

  It was a typical response because Bookwalter knew exactly what Leo was doing. Leo wondered if he’d use the titbit in a future exchange but doubted it. He’d deliberately forced incongruous information into their exchanges in the past but Bookwalter was meticulous and used only information that he’d insidiously extracted from Leo in his portfolio. Laura was allergic to sesame seeds but chances were Bookwalter would now steer clear of anything related to the subject.

  He now implemented very little Leo gave him and usually adhered to his own (often incorrect) profile of Laura. When Leo had pulled him up on inaccuracies in the past, however, Bookwalter countered by using Laura’s fictional presence to chide Leo for not knowing her well enough. There was only one time Bookwalter had quoted Laura directly. It had been during a conversation about her love of theatre, which had been news to Leo. On that occasion, the words were so patently not hers and Bookwalter had let his own American diction filter through.

  She says I’m so mad you forgot that about me.

  Bookwalter never did it again and direct interaction with Laura had been forbidden ever since.

  Do I need to be concerned about Mutatkar?

  As usual, there was no period of reflection before Bookwalter answered.

  No.

  Ashley was right. Why the hell did he still entertain him? Was it because he was the only person left who was willing to talk about Laura as if she was still alive? Partly. More important than that, a man who had never set foot in the United Kingdom, let alone Chevalier’s, was the only individual who had significantly projected what had happened the day Laura vanished.

  Leo registered the blackness around the edges of his navy bedroom curtains and returned his attention to his laptop.

  Tell me again about the 12th.

  Theres nothing more to add.

  But Leo knew that there would be and that Bookwalter’s fingers would already be poised.

  Do you realise that of the thousands of people who visit my site youre the only person to ask about the mechanics of my abduction of Laura. In fact most of the questions Ive had to fence from others in relation to her seems to be whether she was my victim at all

  They’re all ghouls. They’re not interested because you imply that she’s still alive.

  But only you and I know that for sure.

  No – only you know that for sure. And Laura, of course.

  Of course but thats because you continually deny yourself the opportunity to remove all doubt.

  If you allowed me to speak directly to Laura then you would immediately remove all doubt.

  Although Leo had never caused Bookwalter to display any anger within his dialogue he knew when he was entering the sort of territory that might cut their discourse short. It was the fundamental weakness of Bookwalter’s claim that often led to a terse suspension of their discussions. Whether Laura was his willing prisoner or there under duress – something that Bookwalter would never confirm one way or the other – Laura’s real presence was something that could be confirmed in seconds and it was these definitive questions that Bookwalter was aggravated by and continually evaded.

  Leo thought he was past deriding his lies but the ludicrous pretence upon which their exchanges was based was sometimes so conspicuous that Leo had to fight his own reflex to attack him. He was either a delusional egocentric, a professional fraud who recognised the virtues of his grossly inflated claims attracting advertisers to his site – or both. However, Bookwalter’s theories masquerading as accounts of his exploits were actually the closest thing Leo had to a plausible explanation for Laura’s disappearance, and their convincing rationale meant he had to suppress a constant urge to needle him. A continually refined narrative had been emerging over months of mutual indulgence, and as Leo helped him fill in the gaps it became more credible than anything the police had speculated.

  Why is it that nobody but you cares for the fate of Laura Sharpe? Ive murdered many people, more than Bonsignore confessed to after he throttled his boyfriend and took the credit for my work.

  This was the point at which Leo held the punch bag. He’d never asked Bookwalter why he’d murdered the people he declared to have. His claim to be holding Laura was the only focus of their dialogue and he often wondered if that rankled with him. Bookwalter was a crank and a liar and Leo felt no need to grill him about crimes he hadn’t committed. It also seemed bad taste to ask why he no longer killed because he knew Bookwalter’s well-documented disgust for his media coverage was such a convenient excuse for suspending his activities. Leo did, however, genuinely wonder who he was. Had he dispensed with his real life wholesale in favour of his fictional persona and warped celebrity? There was very little on the internet that Bookwalter hadn’t generated himself. News reports had simply described him as an ‘out of work actor with an unhealthy fixation for serial killers.’

  He’d never been remotely aggressive towards Leo but he often wondered if this was more to do with the fact Bookwalter was keen to nurture their relationship for financial gain. He’d watched a few of his grainy home-shot rants on YouTube – in fact, Bookwalter had once embedded all of them onto his own site – and all of them had revolved around his dissatisfaction with his media perception which he laid squarely at the feet of Bonsignore. The venom directed from one proven liar to another potential fraud was either the ultimate illustration of his performance skills or an indication as to how completely unhinged he was.

  Why have you now stopped attacking Bonsignore on the site?

  Leo tried to improve Bookwalter’s mood by accommodating him so he could gear the conversation back to Chevalier’s.

  Bonsignore was an amateur but Ive been dealing with second hand charlatans since I began. I now understand the trick is not to give them oxygen.

  But if they’re claiming to be responsible for acts they couldn’t possibly have committed surely they can be immediately dismissed?

  Leo guessed the comment wouldn’t have the resonance with Bookwalter that he intended.

  There was only a brief pause before he responded.

  Not if people are determined to believe t
hem.

  Leo doubted he was responding to his barb and thought it far more likely that Bookwalter was still caught up in his own mortification.

  So you think people don’t care about the truth if their desperation can be satisfied?

  Exactly. Its why you puzzle me, Leo. If you care so much for your own wife why have you never accepted my offer of hospitality?

  CHAPTER 12

  Leo wondered if Bookwalter’s repeated offer to pay for a flight to New Orleans was as carefully calculated as he believed it was. As far as he knew, none of the other victims’ families had had anything to do with Bookwalter. Any association beyond Leo and Bookwalter’s dialogues was sure to be shamelessly capitalised upon.

  Send me the answers I want and I’ll book a flight tomorrow.

  There were times Leo couldn’t help himself. There was an exact degree of belief suspension that was required to maintain the attention of Bookwalter’s skewed intellect and Leo wondered if he’d overstepped the mark. Leo had sent a list of intimate questions that only he and Laura would know the answers to during their initial dialogues and Bookwalter gave the same response every time Leo highlighted the fact that they had never been answered.

  Laura wants you to come find her. Removing all doubt by answering those questions would be too easy.

  I need you to help me understand why Laura would want to test me in that way.

  If these exchanges are the limit of your concern for her safety then its understandable that Laura has mislaid her affection for you.

  You still forbid direct contact or to allow us to talk through you. You won’t even tell me what the state of her health is or whether you’ve harmed her. Surely you can understand why I’m still sceptical.

  Its not my job to convince you, Leo. Ive told you where she is. Whether you choose to act upon it is your choice.

  Leo resisted the urge to go over the same ground with Bookwalter but found his fingers typing a question he’d asked him numerous times in the past.

  So why didn’t you murder her?

  For the same reason I had to murder the others.

  This other stock response was word for word the same as the other times but it was Ashley’s disapproval that Leo visualised as he typed in the inevitable.

  Because the email came back to you?

  Whether Bookwalter was deranged enough to believe he was the Vacation Killer and was holding Laura captive or was completely sane, he had to know that it was one question Leo needed to know the answer to.

  Because the email came back to me.

  This was why Leo still entertained Bookwalter. Even though he’d put the words at his disposal Bookwalter continually repeated what he yearned to be told.

  * * *

  You were telling me about the 12th. What else can you remember?

  Leo felt his legs going to sleep but didn’t uncross them from under the laptop.

  That a casual air makes you invisible. You both walked past me when you were looking for your usual table in Chevaliers. I passed you in the stairwell leading to the upstairs seating area.

  How long had you been there?

  A minute or so before you arrived. Id walked into the downstairs lounge but nobody was tending bar. It had only just opened so I walked the length of the place to see if Laura had come in. She was always very punctual particularly with Opallios being just across the street. There werent any other customers when I walked to the upstairs bar. She wasnt at her usual table so I came back down the stairs and thats when you guys were coming the other way.

  I don’t remember seeing you there.

  Fact was, Leo couldn’t remember whether he had seen anyone or not. Their arrival at Chevalier’s was a weekly event so one visit mirrored the others. It was usually early lunchtime when they entered which meant they had their pick of the tables but he couldn’t recall if it had been completely empty or if there’d been a smattering of other customers settling in. It just hadn’t registered because they’d been talking and had made a beeline for their usual location. His brain must have dispensed with the memory before they’d even sat down but Leo would have given anything to recall the thirty-yard walk to the place where he had last seen Laura.

  I dont remember what you wore, Leo. Laura had that mustard knitted top on so she seemed dressed differently to normal.

  How would she normally dress?

  Not as informally. She let her hair down with Hektor the other times Id watched her having lunch there but she was usually dressed for work. She looked really tall close up. It was quite a surprise and I remember wondering if she would fit in the trunk of the car. I turned back in your direction as you both climbed the stairs and realised that it was all down to the heels she was wearing. It all worked out though. I had no reason to remove them.

  Where did you go then?

  As a reflex, into the restroom and then into one of the cubicles. Didnt lock the door, just closed it nearly all the way and lifted my feet off the tiles. Nobody came in though. I wondered if either of you had seen me. I doubted it. You were both engrossed with each other.

  What were we talking about?

  Christmas shopping from what I could understand.

  Leo had no recollection of what they’d been talking about or, indeed, if they’d been talking at all when they headed for their usual leather sofa.

  I decided you hadnt seen me but that I could still back myself up if you had.

  With the story about the broken statue?

  Correct. Thats when I came back out of the restroom and found her pushing the door to the ladies. I knew everything would fall into place after that.

  So you had second thoughts beforehand?

  Happens all the time. You watch and learn but the skill is in recognising the opportunity. Do the names Libby Morgan, Julie Desouza or Martin Cornish mean anything to you?

  No.

  That’s because they shouldnt. Right now theyre probably enjoying lives I very nearly took from them. My research was thorough but the right occasion never presented itself. You can plan for every eventuality but you still need luck. When I met Laura in that confined space and she made eye contact I knew wed walk out of that place like we were invisible.

  This was new insight that Bookwalter had never embroidered the story with before.

  The first thing I say is her name. It always disarms people because they think they should know you. Theyre offguard while they try to find you in their head and in those few seconds you can do anything. Then shes looking at my delivery guy uniform and Im laughing and going out of my way to put her at her ease. I throw in Opallios and the name of her boss and tell her I’ve been sent over to the bar because they figured shed be there. Ive got a parcel for her to sign for and I’m holding up the digital signature display but before she can process this Im telling her that I think its a statue and that it sounds like its probably broken.

  Leo noticed that on each occasion Bookwalter immersed himself in his own story the past tense suddenly became the present. His typing got faster and his mistakes became more frequent, his frantic and categorical corrections prompting Leo to imagine him punching the keys and cursing himself as they interrupted the flow of his account.

  Ive given her so much thats familiar to her. Im wearing the uniform, Im holding the signature display for her to sign and I say Ive been trying to find her. I say Im illegally parked in Percy Street and can she come get the parcel before I get a ticket.

  Im overloading her with information and at that point her eyes go up and to the right – up the stairs to where youre waiting. It’s the crucial moment. I tell her that it’s not a very big parcel and could she come get it now because I dont want another parking ticket for Christmas. Thats when her eyes drop again. Maybe she feels sorry for me, maybe she digs my American accent, maybe she doesnt want to go back up the stairs in those heels again and figures it will be easier just to come get it. Add to that the fact that her mystery Christmas parcel is already damaged. She tells me she just needs to use t
he bathroom and I tell her Ill wait.

  I lean against the wall at the bottom of the stairs and youre waiting for her at the top of them. If you come down I can just walk out. If anyone passes me and takes note of me I can just walk out. I know neither of these things will happen though and all I have to do is look harassed when Laura comes back out of the restrooms and hope she hasnt thought too hard about anything. Not that there was anything wrong with my story but sometimes common sense can slow the impetus.

  Shes back out in under a minute though and she obviously peed as fast as she could. Shes considered telling you whats going on but shes decided against it particularly now shes held me up further by answering the call of nature. I walk her quickly out of Chevaliers and she has to keep up. Theres still nobody in the front bar and I hold the door open for her.

  Leo’s mouth was dry. He sipped at his coffee and it was stone cold.

  Percy Street is a block up from Chevaliers on the right. I pretend to be programming the digital signature display with a touch pen and dont make eye contact. We turn the corner into Percy Street and walk down the right hand sidewalk. I keep my head down but peer up through my eyebrows for pedestrians. There are three kids standing on the opposite side of the street but theyre not looking at us. Laura says something but I dont hear what it is.

  I fix the kids until were masked by the row of cars parked down the sidewalk. The street is a dead end and I turn off the display and ask Laura to sign. She tells me its turned itself off and I pretend to be fixing it as we approach the dead end. I hand it back to her and know that in the time it takes her to sign my story will have run out. Ive left the trunk of the car unlocked and Ive got the hypodermic in her left side while her hands are still busy. I neck lock her and push my knuckles into her mouth until I feel her shoulders sag. I take my time putting her into the boot of the car because I know nobody will disturb us.